An Integral Step

I have the awesome and wonderful opportunity as part of my mission preparation to get my endowments out tonight in the Seattle, Washington LDS Temple. I can not even begin to express the thoughts and feelings going through me right now. I can not get my mind to turn off! I just keep thinking of how much I am about to learn.

My heart is bursting with a testimony of Jesus Christ and the atonement that he enabled for every person on Earth to return to our Heavenly Father and have eternal life. How Joseph Smith is a true prophet that spoke with God the Father and His son Jesus Christ in the Sacred Grove. That Joseph Smith carried out instructions to bring the true and restored gospel back on Earth in the Latter Days. That the true priesthood was restored with Joseph Smith. That we still are given that living prophet in President Thomas S. Monson is something that makes my soul sing, because I know that My Father in Heaven is with us and guiding us.

I get to spread that restored gospel to whom ever will listen to me in the Denver, Colorado mission. I am so excited to have that chance. My going to the temple is an integral step in full filling this newly acquired goal - well relatively newly acquired.

I keep thinking of the peace and the love I feel when I am in the Temple. I have amazingexperiences when I am there already and this will open up so much more for me.

The truly amazing thing is that not to long ago the idea of going through the Temple freaked me out big time. We have entire classes for preparing someone to take this step. I attempted to take one - I got half way through before I had a small panic attack and refused to ever go again. It was not until very recently that I got over that. I continually get confirmation that this is the best thing for me.

"My brothers and sisters, temples are more than stone and mortar. They are filled with faith and fasting. They are built of trials and testimonies. They are sanctified by sacrifice and service."-Thomas S. Monson

The Glass Is ALWAYS Half Full

I stopped my life briefly. A blink of the eye really... if you think about it. I stopped my life in order to get on with it. And so far all that decision has done is bite me in the ass. I happen to be a generally optimistic person however, and have managed to keep a little hope alive.

I made the decision to take the leap I mentioned many many months ago on here to go on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I got my call (assignment) a couple of weeks ago. I will be reporting to the MTC (mission training center) in Provo, Utah on April 25, 2012 to go to the Denver, Colorado South mission. It is basically anything west of Denver except for a little at the bottom.

The kicker is this - I am over weight by any bodies standards. Because of this I have to lose about 20 pounds before the Church will let me go out. They don't say this, but I am pretty sure they are just covering themselves because while I am out on my mission I am on the Church's insurance. Fair Enough, I say.

The thing is... it isn't really working. I joined a gym again - and I even go almost every day.

I suppose this is me wining about the half of the glass that is empty.

But HERE'S THE THING:

I know that I am doing the thing that I want to do. I am doing the thing that the Lord wants me to do.

Part of life is knowing when you need to be somewhere and actually being there. I believe in having a purpose in life - that we all have many things that we specifically need to do.

I know in my heart that I need to be on that Mission. I have no doubt in my mind that at least one person will be all the better for knowing me. I may be unsure about right now. I may feel like I am pretty much useless. The important thing is that I am not unsure about later.

What will happen to me if I am unable to get the weight off in time? They don't let me go, most likely. They at least will tell me that I need to re-apply only when I have the weight off. Which, if I am completely honest with my internet abyss, most likely would never happen. This is a one time deal for me. Unless some future husband wants to go on a mission with me. So, that would ultimately mean I have a chance to get my full life back. I would start looking at schools and scholarships. I would be looking for serious jobs that have futures and full hours. I would be looking at savings accounts and study abroad programs. I would move out of my parent's house as soon as humanly possible, because as much as I love them both - I AM WAY TOO OLD TO BE LIVING HERE.

Basically, I would get on with my life.

What would happen if I did get my goal? My life would stay on hold. I would go on my mission. I would learn what it is that I am supposed to be learning there.

Basically, I would expand my life.

And that makes all the difference.