Someone Much Wiser than I Once Said...

"For if that what you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without."

- excerpt from "The Charge of the Goddess"

I have recently been reading a book about the basics of the religion of Wicca. No, this does not mean that I am an aspiring witch. I am just an aspiring writer doing background info on a character. It turns out that this is actually a very fascinating religion. I am getting through it fairly quickly considering it reads like a text book. 

This line from the charge though kind of stuck a cord with me. 

How many times in life have you sat on your butt waiting for someone or something else to give you a kick start. To suddenly start making things happen for you?   

I think there is a lot of truth in this line. Everything that we need is in us. Sometimes, I think we suppress that inherent courage, love, whatever. We have to find it. I think that others can hep us find it... but really we have to see it in ourselves. 

This was a little bit of unexpected wisdom from an unexpected source. 

Another November Coming Right Up!

As per usual, I will be loosely participating in the annual NaNoWriMo this November. I say loosely, because I am a lone participant. It is actually very social - which I have no idea how these people actually win the freaking thing - but I am yet again not going to be going to ANY MEET UPS AT ALL. If a fellow NaNoer were ever to read this blog post, which let's be honest is very unlikely, they would probably tell me that I should make more of an effort to attend at least one meet-up. My response would be ... I would love to. Unfortunately, I have managed to once again isolate myself in no where Arizona without a car. I'm not really sure what goes through my head when I accept these jobs, but somehow it never occurs to me that I do in fact really hate small towns. Jackson, Wyoming has officially spoiled me in that respect. It was a small town with all the charm and beauty, but it had a distinct city feel. There was stuff to do outside of going to bars. There was culture and awesome food, and ready hiking. 

As I have no plans to rejoin those who have fallen into the Hole, I am now on a search for somewhere that will inspire me, enfold me, and love me as much as Jackson did but without all the nasty surprise downsides. 

I have not been successful so far. 

To distract myself from this for the time being I will be whole heartily throwing myself into all that is NaNoWriMo. I have exactly one week from today to come up with a plot line. You would think that I would have no problem with this. I generally have two or three stories repeating in my head until I write them down. The problem with them is that I either really don't like them or they are almost embarrassing in how stereotypical and/or predictable they are. 

This presents a major problem. 

One week to come up with genius?

I want this to be epic. I want children to study my story in schools when I die. 

I want movies to be made from my stories while I live so that I can enjoy the profits.

One week...

I could outline until I come up with something, but as that particular exercise has always felt entirely too much like school work I never get too far in it. 

Basically, my plan so far consists of buying a random magazine, opening to a random page, and writing about what ever picture I turn to. 

Admittedly, it is not a particularly traditional approach. 

Fortunately for me, I do not thrive on tradition.

Orion

I am in a new place, yet again. I have found my way back to the Arizona desert for the winter. I work on a resort ranch, where members and guests get to choose between horse back riding and golfing every day. 

One of the perks to how I live, and where I currently am is that I have many opportunities to just sit back and enjoy the moment. To genuinely have no worries. 

Last night was one such night. 

A few of my co-workers and I went to the cookout area that the ranch uses. It's only about half a mile out in the desert, but there are chairs and firewood out there so it suits us well. 

My night was filled with good conversation, the desert night air, the stars above my head, and a crackling fire next to me - keeping me warm. 

My nose is still filled with the smell of camp fire, alcohol, and tobacco. 

The theme song of the night seemed to be "Mamma's don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" but there is something relaxing about listening to some real classic country and rock that I can not seem to put my finger on. 

I was reminded that sometimes you need to take the time to dance under the stars, even if you are not particularly skilled at it. 

There was one point in the evening that I was sitting back with my feet up on a chair and looking up at the stars when I had a flood of memories. You see I was out there for like five hours, so the stars were visibly progressing. I watched Orion rise from the horizon and make his way up the sky. 

Orion, the great hunter. I started to remember all of the places I have looked up at the sky to see Orion staring down at me. 

Camping as a Girl Scout when I was much younger, the roof of the astronomy tower in college, swinging on the elementary school swings my first season in Jackson and watching the hunter move across the sky while I listened to Keith Urban on a disc man. I've watched him night hiking in the Tetons, night white water rafting and tubing on the snake river, walking through the town of Jackson in the wee hours of the morning to experience the fresh snowfall before it got annoying. Skinny dipping in Idaho, even sitting in a lawn chair in on a different ranch as one of the wranglers strummed old country songs on a guitar. 

Orion is the second most well known constellation in the northern skies, and without knowing it he has become a point of reference for me. I have done many things under the stars, and this great hunter, who turned out to not be all that great according to his myths, has witnessed a good amount of them.