The Inner Circle of Life

It is still a bit of a mystery to me how my friends come into my life. The best of them, the ones I would consider to be my inner circle, were almost immediate. They all have similar stories: we would meet in various ways, be aware of each other but have no real interaction, and then one day we hang out and never stop - not really. It is instinct. I am not a believer in fate, no choice in the things that happen in my life. But, the automatic way that these people entered my life, like it was supposed to be, unquestionably going to happen - is enough to make me think twice about Fate.

I do believe that we are meant to meet certain people, but it is always up to us how that meeting turns out, how we let them effect us in life. For me, it has turned into how I let them effect my interaction with other people.

I noticed about a week or so ago that I am alone for a good portion of my day, everyday. It took me so long to even think about it because I talk to one or two of my best friends every-single-day. They just happen to all live in different states than I do. Which is also why my being alone doesn't bother me. 

I choose to give my friends power. 

Maybe it is because I am an introvert who has very few actual friends. When I say friends, I mean that a friend be classified as someone who knows things about you because you tell them, and that you hang out with them because you actually like them. These are the people I would take a bullet for. I have one friend who I went to visit and we ended up spending two nights in her apartment doing not a lot except hanging out with each other and talking, because I missed her, because we were true friends. 

My circle of friends is small, but they have such a huge affect on me that I am starting to wonder if it would be smarter to add people to it. The fewer people that have an opinion I actually care about - the more those opinions actually matter. 

I am so thankful for the people that I am fortunate enough to have in my life, in that inner circle. It is a relief when someone actually understands my kind of crazy.

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"Second Hand Spirits" "In a Witch's Wardrobe" & "Tarnished and Torn" by: Juliette Blackwell

Every so often I come across a series of books that I love and end up reading all of the books in the series even if I didn't start at the beginning. The Witchcraft Mystery series by Juliet Blackwell is one of those. They are not long, complicated books. I would put them in the "Bubblegum Mystery" category. They are just fun, easy literature that adds a little dessert to my day. :) 

The opening book to this is Secondhand Spirits and it introduces us to the main character Lily Ivory and her vintage clothing store she has recently opened up in San Francisco. She gets herself into a bit of trouble trying to rid a neighborhood of evil, but finds a bit of a family in the process. 

There are a few books between the first installment and In a Witch's Wardrobe but since there are only a few things that are continual in all of them, that didn't seem important. I actually read this book before Secondhand Spirits and fell in love with it all the same. 

In this one Lily attends an Art Deco Ball that gets her into trouble. She is like a supernatural "Murder She Wrote". Helping and hindering the local police at the same time while in the end catching the culprit almost all on her own.

Tarnished and Torn is the latest book in the series and has Lily attending an antique jewelry fair and in the process gets mixed up in what may - or may not - be a modern witch hunt! She gets to show us why she is one of the best witches in the business. 

One of my favorite things about this series is her side kick ... a pig who is actually a gargoyle thing. 

I would recommend this book to anyone who likes mysteries. I can't think of anything that would make it inappropriate for any particular age group, but I would say High School or above just for comprehension and being able to relate.  

NEON RUN 2013!!!!!

I love doing these fun runs! When I signed up for this one I was actually planning on doing it by myself, but then a couple of weeks ago my brother, Jacob, decided to sign up himself and his son, Kayden. So, I had people to hang out with while I was there... 

I was stupid and didn't take my camera on the actual run... silly Tamera... next time

This is Kayden while we are all getting decked out in our glowing gear

This is my niece, Payton, she got a glowing wand

This is Keaton , nephew, he did not run, but he was loving the neon body paint!

This is my brother, Jacob, and his wife, Karen. Not sure why Jacob is giving a stink face.

Here we are pre-race.. the boys are very intense.

Yea.. that's me

Everyone lined up to start the race

Kayden after he finished ... embarrassingly faster than I did

Kayden and I after

The three runners! Yea.. I had on neon nail polish just for the occasion

Jacob photo bombing me and looking a bit like a ghost coming out of no where with no arms

The smoky area is where they had the stage and the DJ

The finish line!!!

My time ... it's embarrassing really.... but oh so fun!!!

Exactly Where I Want To Be

(October 1, 2013 - Photo of the Day)

Have you ever looked up from what you were doing to suddenly realize that you were in fact very grateful to be exactly where you were in that moment? To not want to be anywhere else at all? Today I had that feeling. In my ever snaking path of life I find myself in school once again, and at one point I looked up from my walking in the “quad” (for lack of a better word) and could not think of any place I would rather be at that moment then on that path, on my way to class. Which, quite frankly, was a bit of a shock to me after the last few days. It seems like every other way I turn my education is just getting in the way of the rest of my life.

Is it worth it?

Is it REALLY worth it?

This education that I have been drilled to believe that I will be a better person for. That I have convinced myself that I will be smarter, more attractive, better paid and an all-around more productive humane being for having finished.  

In the process of pursuing my education I have moved to Portland, Oregon. It’s a good city. But by no means is it a great one, and I have yet to feel any sort of connection to it. There is a blog, a truly fantastic blog that I love, called “Awash with Wonder” by a woman named Shannon. She recently wrote about her feelings toward San Francisco compared to her current city of Orlando, and the language she seemed to share with San Francisco, that she has been to only a few times – but not with Orlando, where she has lived for years now (the post is called “When a city feels like home” if you are interested). I am feeling a bit like that now. Only I have yet to find my true home. Portland and I definitely do not share a common language. We share a respect for what the other has to offer the other, and a few similar interests that keep us entertained. Unfortunately, Portland is my friend who is my friend because we happen to live in the same neighborhood and know some of the same people, but have no real particular interest in the other.

And then I have moments like today.

I am happy here. I am even involved here. I have no job yet – which may be part of the problem – but for once I have moved somewhere new that did not involve a pre-setup plan and I feel like I have a place here. A self-appointed place, but a place all the same. Portland has given me an outlet for all of the things that I have wanted to try over the years that are just not available in those itsy-bitsy towns I have a habit of living in.

My life so far has been a series of hopeful and sometimes glorious starts, very short middles, and sudden and complete stops so that another tangent can be explored. I am in no way prepared to give up my exploring, and feel like it would be dishonest to myself to do so. This City has given me yet another new start, which to the untrained eye may seem pretty par-for-the-course, but in fact is completely different. In everything that is truly embarrassing, I have to admit that I have put and exceptional amount of laziness into my life. I do not mean that I am an inherently lazy person – I always am trying to do something – but no real effort toward my life as a hole. Now, I have to choose to get up at 7am to be to class so that I may eventually get that degree and have something to show for what I am doing. I am joining groups and making long term commitments here. Ones that I would under no circumstances have joined in any other place before now because I knew a head of time that I would be leaving it all behind in just a few short months.

That translates into a few things happening. Those groups I am joining? They are writing groups, and racing groups, and groups that choose a time to dissect fairy tales. I am going to be signing up for Krav Maga here soon. I am making commitments to things that have always been close to my heart, and I find that I love that. When I first planned on moving here I figured it would be for the 9 months of the school year. Take the summers off, help keep the sanity of a very transient person in a very permanent place. I do not think that that is what will be happening now.

Because if, you haven’t noticed, it is when the insanity is at its peak that you look up and find yourself exactly where you want to be.