New Year. New You. New Me. If all
of us did everything that we said we would do at the beginning of every year –
New Society. I know that I tend to make some pretty lofty goals that, if ever I
was to fully implement, would make me into a pretty fantastic person. Even this
year, I had set out to make the minimal amount of goals; goals that were
attainable, goals that were semi-part of my life already, like three tops. Yea,
that did not happen. I am currently at 16 goals for 2014. Even as I sit here
looking at my list five days into the year I cannot think of one that would be
acceptable to take off. If I was smart I suppose I would just chuck the whole
thing, but there is that little part of me that fully believes that I will of
course be able to do all of these things that I have said I will.
Interestingly, the tradition of making lofty goals at the New Year is not a new one. The Babylonians would make promises to the Gods at the beginning of the year (the beginning of their year was apparently in March though) to return borrowed objects and pay their debts. Not having the problem of keeping crap I borrow, I can’t say I relate directly, but to me that sounds a lot like the “I will run everyday” promise I like to make.
Then Julius
Caesar aka Roman Empire changed the beginning of the year to January to get the
calendar back in sync with the Sun. This is also when the citizens of Rome
would pledge themselves to the Emperor. Fun fact: January is named after the
God Janus. Janus is the God of gates, doors, and new beginnings. He is depicted
with having two faces because through a gate or door he can look both behind
him and in front of him. That is where the new beginning thing comes from,
because you have to walk through the door to get to somewhere new. It invites
the contemplation that we all seem to go through at this time of year.
Revisiting/ analyzing/ un-healthily listing all the things that we see wrong with ourselves is what the tradition has turned into. Janus was a God to be called upon with the new – everything; new day, new baby, new house, new job. He would bless those who called on him to be prosperous in the new undertaking. I wonder what he would say about the resolutions that we all come up with in our modern world. No longer are we happy with good fortune in the endeavors that come to us naturally. Now we (*cough* myself) go out to that proverbial wheat field that is our selves. We have planted, watered, tilled, and weeded this field all year long. We have taken out the plants that are no good, the ones that were beaten down by the storms; we even took the time to plant some new ones in their place – they are small and just learning how to soak up the sun to make themselves strong, but they are there. We go to our fields and we see the growth and say “NOPE, not good enough!” and some of us take a torch to the wheat and watch the flames take out all the plants that suddenly are not what or how we want to be. We don’t want to be wheat farmers, we want to grow banana trees, or something else that is completely different from what we previously had. To make this happen we throw out a few banana tree seeds and hope they fill up the whole field, only to find in the new year that our field is full of wheat again, that we have loved and cared for after the banana trees failed, and we are okay with that for most of the year.
I think that we have so much potential as human beings. There is not nearly enough emphasis on looking back at the year and seeing all the wonderful things that have helped to form you to be who you are at this moment. I envy those that do not buy into the resolution craze every year. I can’t number myself among them, but I think that shows certain strength of character – at least a happiness with one’s being as is.
For myself, the list of accomplishments is short. I started this year living on a resort ranch in nowhere, Arizona. I completed a “Warrior Dash” race, got into college, made some headway with being sure of my spirituality. I took advantage to go on my first real adventure on my own and out of the country and spent a couple weeks in La Paz and Cabo san Lucas, Mexico on a kayak trip. It was beautiful and I am so glad that I went. I cannot wait to go on another adventure. My summer had me in nowhere, Alaska on a remote fishing resort. I was surprised at the changes I found in myself while I was on that small island. Being there makes me think that sometimes I am supposed to be in certain places at certain times to meet certain people. Then came September, and I moved to Portland, Oregon. Finishing off my year with a sense of rejection and wasted money and effort, and hoping that, in my limited view, I am missing the good this is doing for me. Ending my year on such a depressing note probably has not helped me with my intentions to burn down my own field, but part of me just wants a chance to better plan the planting of the new wheat.
Most of my personal goals for the year consist of exercise and weight loss. A new twist for me is that I am going to be actively pursuing my writing. That means book clubs, writing groups, and, of course, a new blog to document my efforts. It is called Scratches or Scribbles and you can access it on one of the page tabs on the top of this blog.
A whole new year has been opened up
to the world to be screwed up and twisted into a confusing ball of ups, downs,
victories, depressions, hormones, and probably (for me) a few moves. As I am
thinking to myself now how I plan to concur the mountain that is 2014, I am
hoping and praying that I will come out the other side without too much scarring, a fertile wheat field, and maybe - if I am lucky - a banana tree or two.
Places I found some of my information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year's_resolution
http://billpetro.com/history-of-new-years-resolutions
http://phys.org/news/2013-12-ancient-traditions-year-resolutions.html
http://www.novareinna.com/festive/janus.html
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