No Sleep.... No Sleep

It has been a long time since I have had this hard of time sleeping. I slept maybe a total of four hours last night, and not even continuously. Tonight I tried to go to bed at 10pm and I find myself on the wrong side of 1am... still awake.

It is one of those annoying awakes too. I feel tired. I know I am tired. I know that I am going to be useless at work tomorrow. Yet I can not make myself sleep. On top of that I keep making lists. Lists of things I need to pack, things I need to pick up from the store, things I need to take to work, and things I need to buy so that I can move. I have to rent things, and find things, and give away things. I have to clean things. I have to negotiate things. I have to worry about things because my entire immediate future hinges on the belief that I will be going on a mission, even though it is taking forever to get my act in gear.

Too many things, TOO MANY THINGS! All rushing, all immediate, all pretty unimportant when I step back and look at the situation from a different angle.

I just want to sleep

It's hard not to change my mind

For the first time in a long time I am moving forward again in life. That may sound weird to some- but to me it is a relief. You see, I am what some would call a wonderer. I moved every nine months to somewhere new. No connections, no family, no clubs, nothing.

Than I let myself fall into the Hole. I did not even notice it happening at first. When I finally did notice I skipped out of town with bells on back home. Home's always nice but then I had a job that was slowly sucking my soul from my body. And as it turned out...I missed the Hole.

So I found the fist job that offered employee housing and loaded up my car and was out. That was nice but one can only take being in the middle of nowhere for so long.

Comense a year of questionable choices and the only good thing that came out of it was me having the opportunity to help care for my Grandmother in the last months of her life.

That is one thing that I will never regret.

I still missed the Hole though and so about a year and a half of being gone I found my way back.

However, I have stayed too long and am now finally on my way out.

The plan is to go on a mission for my church. But I find myself every day coming up with other options. I have to re-convince my self almost everyday that it was my idea and I really do want to go.

I guess the hardest times are when I get together with friends and they tell me all about their recent plans for the future. My mind goes into overdrive, and all of a sudden I am wanting to do ten things at once and trying to figure out exactly how to swing that.

I suppose I am a little ADD on my decision making processes.

"Wicked Appetite" Book Review

"Wicked Appetite" By: Janet Evanovich

I get in these moods some days, usually at the beginning of a new season, when I just want to immerse myself in something of the season. Sometimes this can last just a few hours, a few days, or like Christmas - the entire season.

A few days ago I had one of these urges, this time for Halloween.

I am NOT into the holiday as much as a lot of my friends are. I like scary stories, and going to scary places. I like freaking other people out, and honestly I like getting freaked out.

I like the history behind the holiday, and the different ways that it has evolved over the centuries.

I could not care less about dressing up or going to huge parties. I will, but rarely take notice if i don't happen to make it to something like that.

When I felt like being Halloween-ish a few days ago I ended up at home with a new book (this one) three Halloween magazines, three books from the library about the pagan Halloween, and a DVD about the history.

Luckily, it took me a couple days to get to the book.

This book is not about Halloween - at all.

I have read a few of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum novels, and this new series has the same kind of antics.

I loved it. They border on the outrageous. She is a baker, specialty in cupcakes (which by-the-way had me craving friggin cupcakes for like three days now. I shall probably go and make carrot cupcakes when I get home from work).

She gets stuck between two cousins who both have exceptional abilities, and both are using her to help them find some things they need.

They end up getting help from an aspiring witch (who isn't that great), a monkey (who acts more like a human than a monkey, but has the manners of a monkey), and a cat (who never gets a real name, has a glass eye, and may or may not really be a ninja).

I don't want to spoil it, so I won't reveal more than that. It is worth the buy though.

Evanovich definitely stands up to her already stellar literary reputation.

Locks of Love

I have had long hair since I attended Gateway Middle School. If I remember correctly it was the seventh grade. For all those that don't know how old I am that was about twelve years ago.

A few days ago my friend Cate made an appointment for us to go over to Rexburg, ID and get our hair cut together.

Last night, while entertaining myself at work I decided something.... I was going to chop off my hair. Maybe.

The original idea was to get it cut to just below my shoulders. OH BUT WAIT.... I forgot the cardinal rule of telling the cosmetologist to cut about three inches longer than you actually want.

On the upside no I can donate what she did end up taking to Locks of Love so that some little kid will be able to have some hair. Accidental, but still a worthy cause.

Now I can't stop touching my hair. Every few minutes I am running my hand through the very very short locks. I did not realize how much I play with my hair until now. There is substantially less to play with now. Poor hair.... all chopped off..... all the pretty hair chopped off.

100 Days without SNOW

100 DAYS. That was it. Our Summer season in Jackson Wyoming was apparently only good for 100 DAYS.

It all started Yesterday afternoon. I was at work (I work at the front desk of a hotel in Teton Village) and I looked out of the front entrance windows. Expecting to see clouds and rain.... instead I found clouds and fog and SNOW.

We just got out of a record breaking winter season. For the first time in history the entire mountain opened on opening day of ski season.

It was still snowing here in June.

Now, don't get me wrong here.... I was never expecting an overly long Fall. A long Fall at all was really never an expectation.

It has only been Fall for about two weeks though.

The leaves have not even all fallen off the trees.

Gold, Green, and White is more depressing than beautiful to me.
When it snows, the world seems shorter. In the mountain valley in particular. The clouds just sit on the tops of our heads. One does not have to go very far at all to touch them.

And then the morning came..... and I woke up to this.....

While pretty... in October, again, this is just depressing to me.

I was desperately hoping to get out of Jackson before the snow season started.

EPIC FAIL

It is kind of quaint though..... If I really think about it.... admittedly.... and mostly grudgingly.

It's Official !!!!!

I am – as of two days ago – down to one job again. This does three things for me.

1. I get less money. Always sad.
2. I have more free time. I finally have time to go to Yellowstone. In all the collective years I have lived here I have never been. Yesterday I went. How sweet is that?
3. This is way better for my diet. Being surrounded by lots of really yummy ice cream twice a week was NOT beneficial in that area.

I now have lots of time to worry about working out the final logistics for moving and the mission. Yea for that.

"The Wednesday Letters" Book Review

"The Wednesday Letters" By: Jason F. Write

I really enjoyed this book. When I had initially heard about it I was told it was about siblings that find letters that their Father wrote to their Mother over the years. Quite honestly, that is the gist of the plot. But, as with every book, it was how they found them and how they dealt with the revelations in them that made all the difference.

This book has all the great attributes of a high functioning dis-functional family. There is lost loves, and sibling rivalries. There are tempers and dreams not quite reached. It starts with a marriage that lasted 39 years to only end with them dying on the same night. The weekend of their funerals thier three children find the Love letters thier Dad wrote to thier Mom every week on Wednesday. Oh the revelations found in those letters!

This would definately go under the "heart warming" catagory I think. It is not a long read, and I would say it is completely worth it.

9/11 Remembered

Today we as a nation remembered what happened to us a decade ago. We remembered the lives lost, the sacrifices given during and afterward, and the change that has subsequently come over EVERYONE since that day.

I remember I was on my way to early morning seminary. I remember that we did not learn anything that day in school. I remember being angry.

After a watching a few really inspirational and depressing memorial shows on TV in a Days Inn in St George, Utah I remembered something else... Life goes on.

My friend Jennie got married on Saturday in the St George temple. What a beautiful thing. I only got to attend the reception, but it was gorgeous and one could tell that they loved each other.

Two people start a life together, and the next day we are reminded of the horror that overtook our country. In a time when the war abroad is still being questioned I got to see the reason why we have to try so much harder to make sure that it never happens again. I am so thankful on this day for those that guard our shores against further attack. I am happy still that Bin Laden is dead. As one of the majority in this country that enjoy the beauties of freedom without actually having to fight for it myself, I appreciate those that do for me.

Mostly, I remember the pain that was caused ten years ago, and that we got through it. We continue to get through it. To thrive and continue growing from the ashes. Maybe this is the best retaliation. To show those that hate us for be us that they can not keep us down, we will stand again, we will fight, we are up for the challenge.

My friend Cate recently read a book by Jim Butcher, it was one of the Harry Dresden books, and she told me about a line in it. (*don't worry book lovers, this does not ruin any plots) Harry is learning how to do magic. He is fooling around and gets reprimanded by his teacher. I have not read it so do not know the exact phrases used, but in the process of reprimanding him he tells Harry that mediocrity is the worst fate for a person, and something to the effect of you have to choose to be exceptional. I'm sure Jim Butcher was much more inspirational about it. But it got Cate thinking, and in turn has gotten me thinking as well.

This country is full of extraordinary people. People from all walks of life, and every corner of the land. A great deal of them lost their lives ten years ago today, and more loose their lives everyday in a far away land that probably ends with -stan. They fight for our freedoms. They fight for our right to become extraordinary people and make a difference in our own way.

There is beauty in that I think.... we continue to live, to thrive, to get married, and go to school.

We continue, this is my constant tribute to those that fight, to make a difference in this world they keep free for us.

Courage

I went and saw a movie tonight. "The Help". It was a movie about courage.

Coming home from the movie I thought to myself how I need a little more of that in my life. To take those chance that I have been putting off because maybe I won't be successful, or someone won't like me.

The funny thing about this is that I have a friend - a best friend - who always comes home from movies like this one, movies that inspire and move you, and has some fantastic idea about a story she wants to write. It usually follows a similar plot line, but is fun to hear her tweak it. Most of them I think that if she ever actually put them down on her computer she would find the plot changing and becoming original. The point though is that I am usually laughing a little inside at her because of this, and here I am coming home from a movie and suddenly having the inkling to change my entire life.

Example #1:

I am LDS. It has been mentioned a few times on this blog. For those that have been living in a hole though, it is the shortened term for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. One can see why it was shortened. Our nickname in the world is "Mormons"- even if it is not really accurate. (I had the history behind that nickname explained to me once. It involved maps and an hour or explanation, so I will save you from that. I came out of it though never using the term unless I really had to.)

As a member of my church the young people have an opportunity to go out on missions and spread the good word. You may have seen them. Always in two's and three's. The men wear suites and the women wear dresses. They may have come to your door proselyting.

Unlike many of the girls I grew up with, I really had no inclination to go on a mission myself until about three years ago. I decided then that I wanted to go after all - well sometimes I wanted to go, sometimes I wanted to say "screw it" and get on with my life.

Mostly though what has been convieniantly holding me back is the debt that I managed to get myself into a couple of years into collage. I have a lot of student loans to pay back. If I am completely honest though, I have to say it was fear. I like to be good at things, and when I am not I usually find a way out of them. I am not good at cooking. I have managed to have way to many room mates who are willing to cook for me more than they probably should have. I also seem to have forgotten all of the basic stuff my mother did manage to get in my head growing up. just ask my Aunt Shari - She loves telling people about some of my attempts at cooking she has witnessed. On a mission I would not have that luxury. The luxury of just being able to leave - not not cooking. I would have to stick it out for eighteen months. I couldn't come home early, because lets be honest and say how AWKWARD that is to try to explain to people back home why you couldn't hack it for the full amount of time.

"What if I get sent to a foreign language mission and am never able to learn the language?" I am telling my self. "What am I going to do if it turns out that I am not a good enough member at the moment and the church rejects me?" I am and always maybe have been the sweet girl that most people like, but no one knows that I am LDS until I tell them. I am not an obvious member of the church. I know obvious members, and they usually annoy me. I usually find them self righteous, and in my judgement it makes me self righteous. This has not escaped me, but so far can not be helped. Even with that opinion of some of the members of the church that I love and believe in what they teach with my whole being, I still think that I would be absolutely crushed to get a "thanks, but no thanks" letter in the mail. It's like applying to collage. Instead of applying to individual universities though, it's like you apply to just go. The collage that wants you sends you a letter and a start date. You want the big packet to come in the mail. The small letter is still a bad sign.

Tonight I am thinking to myself "what if you are great? what if you can learn the language? what if the experiences and singular view point that you bring to the table are exactly the thing that someone out there that you meet needs? what if the church is just waiting on you to get your act together? What if this is something you are SUPPOSED to do and that big welcome packet is just waiting on someone's desk somewhere?

Example #2 - Writing

As it so happens, I am a writer. Growing up I had the usual childhood dreams of being a movie star, or a circus worker, or a fighter pilot. In between those dreams was always to be a writer.

I am fairly good. Not professional by any stretch of the imagination. I am better than a few, and not nearly where I need to be to be published.

I give myself excuses for not going further with that dream. I don't have time - I don't have good ideas- My attention span is really not conducive to the amount of work and focus that goes into writing a book.

There are also always those nagging questions in my mind of "what if I never write anything worth reading?" "what if I am just a laughing stock?" "what if I fail?"

All valid questions to me even now. I only have an associate degree. As much as I love books and learning, I HATED school. I have a lot to learn still about writing. I have a lot to learn still...period.

But tonight.... "what if I am great?" "what if I help to inspire someone, the way that literature sometimes can?" "what if I succeed and all of my dreams come true?"

Tonight I have a fire in my heart. I can tell myself that I am going to do these things, that I am a pansy to even think of not doing them. Tomorrow the insecurities and doubts will return. It is basic human nature to have them, I think ( the only thing I really took away from my one psyc class was how to train a baby chick in half an hour). As someone who thinks that there is a dark and a light, a good and an evil, God and Satan - those insecurities just feed his power over us.

There is freedom in choice. Fear has the power to take that choice away from us sometimes.

I suppose I enjoy my freedom too much to let this go on for much longer.

plus...

what if I succeed?

Sometimes new is just new

It amazes me sometimes how I can focus on something
new for like four hours and yet I try to do anything remotely school related and I can last MAYBE an hour.

"The Next Thing on My List" by Jill Smolinski

This book was what I like to call "a chick-flick" book. That really is the best way to describe it. I liked it alot, didn't even really put it down too much. Maybe I was just in one of my moods that supported it.

The book is about a woman named June. She is an underachiever and has no real ambitions in life. One day she gives a stranger a ride home and they end up in a major accident where the strange girl is killed. It's not her fault, but ofcourse she still feels guilty and responsible for it. To try to make it up even a little June decides to finsh the bucket list that she found in the girl's purse. 20 things to do before I'm 25. A noble cause to say the least. The book gives an account, often funny, about how she went about doing it.

I think that one of the reasons that I loved it so much was because I relate to June so well. I definately think that "classi underaciever" could be fairly stapled to my file. I even was inspired enough to make my own list. A short term bucket list if you will. 30 things to do beofre I'm 30. I'm a sucker for aliteration.

I recomend this book to women mostly. A guy miht get a kick out of it as well though.

The Man in the Moon

It is cloudy here tonight. There is no moon outside my window, looking down on me. It is comforting in a way, my moon. I am a night owl through and through, and so he accompanies me on my walks and wanderings. Tonight I find myself alone. Cate is still on her trip, and so my thoughts wander aimlessly. The walk to town square was a quiet one. The season here has yet to start, and so I am free to walk in the middle of the road (which happens to be my favorite place).

Have you ever had a time when all you wanted to do was walk for hours on end, and listen to your own thoughts? Thoughts about everything. To become reaquainted with yourself and you life; free from the noise and influence that usually encroaches itself upon you. That is my mind patturn tonight. Just me, and my thoughts, no people, no man on the moon.

With the Spring comes the Rain

The rain has come to Jackson Hole. I almost forgot about the rain here. Every spring we have a definate rainy season. A month or more of mostly rain - at least once a day. Being from the Seattle area originally, the rain usually makes me feel good, clean, and wanting to go for walks. It is May though and Winter here is just now leaving. I was ready for Summer to just jump right in. But it rains.

One thing I do love about this season is that it is the transition period from winter to summer. It's still chilly out but not enough to keep me inside all day. The lakes are all slowly unfreezing, which makes me want to go swimming (even if they are almost too cold to swim in even in the summer).

I still want to go for walks and breath in that fresh mountain air. Nature just seems so much more inviting in the rain... no idea why. I really don't know why, but a hike in the rain is one of my favorite things to do.

Osama bin Laden DEAD!!!

It was announced last night that a small team from the US military has caught and killed Osama bin Laden.





I was at work when this was announced last night. I may have mentioned this before, but I work at the front desk of a hotel in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. At the moment it is super dead, we have over 150 rooms to rent and last night we had people in 10. The hotel bar is basically in the lobby, and last night it was empty. Then the president got on TV and made his announcement. Every single solitary guest came down to the bar not ten minutes after he was done talking. Shots were given out, kids were getting chocolate milk shakes at 10pm. They were disappointed when our employees wouldn't let them buy us any shots. The rejoicing was immediate, spontaneous, and infectious. They were not alone in the sentiment. ...









There were many images of people singing "God Bless America" all over the news. Hopefully not all of them were as bad as the one above.



For at least a night the nation was united again. People from every corner got together and celebrated.

As for me.... not gonna lie, I immediately was sooo excited for this victory. I realize that this war on terror has been gong on for almost ten years now, but for some reason this feels like the first thing that has happened that was not a senseless act of death and destruction. I support our troops, and understand the sacrifices they are giving to help keep our shores free. I also feel with all my heart that with out our troops abroad that our country would have been a different place after 9/11. Some how though, that does not negate the feeling that young men are going to a strange land and never coming back, or the images of the bombings and of kids walking around covered in blood.

Last night though, that was a sweet justice. The celebrators, at least in this country, were thinking of one thing - September 11th, 2001. They were thinking about how we finally got the justice we deserved for that heinous act on our citizenry. I remember writing in my journal about how much anger I felt that day. I agreed 100% with Bush that we should go and find the people that did this to us. I felt relief last night. Relief because in a way I suppose I see it as a step in the right direction to end this war. There are men to take his place or course, apparently one of them is even his son. It felt good though, to have the one that planned the attack gone from this earth. My sister-in-law pointed out how cool it would be to be able to watch that judgment as he passed to the other side. I would have to agree.

It is with pride though that I point out that seemingly small group of people that are not celebrating Bin Laden's death with the rest of us. I really only do this, because a little while after Obama spoke I was online and my best friend got on as well and we were talking about it. She happens to be in that minority. They have some good points, moral points, points that make me feel a little ashamed of myself. He was evil, but he was a child of God. One more for Satan's army - what's to celebrate there? A life is a life, no matter how terrible he was. We should have waited at least for a trial of his crimes (I pointed out on this one what a kangaroo court that would be). I understand their points, I even agree with them (well not the trial one). I, however, am not a perfect person. Not even a little bit. So, if I had not been working when it was announced, I probably would have hit town square and joined in on the festivities.

Osama bin Laden is DEAD.

God bless America.

The Grand Discovery of PHOTO BOOTH!!!

So, I currently have my friend Cate's MAC computer while she is otherwise disposed so that I can help her with some work that needs to be kept up. Now, I have a PC myself, always have. Other than the few times that I have used her internet I am pretty sure that I have not used a MAC since like middle school. That was about 11 to 13 years ago.

Anyway, I was working and I noticed the photo booth icon at on the bar at the bottom of her screen. I had heard of it, but never played with it myself. These pictures are some of the results. Let us all just remember that I am weird.




This is me in my true alien form.
















This would be the result if I were to show you my second tongue. Cute right?
















Cyclops Tami.













Slightly creepy, and yet has an eerie beauty to it.















I just like how this one turned out.














This is what I would apparently look like if I randomly had a sketch artist sketch me and I was happy.














Ofcourse, there is always the possibility that I will be afraid of the sketch artist, so I guess this would be the result of that. Or maybe I am about to melt like that guy on Indiana Jones.

"River Marked" Book Reiew

"River Marked" by Patricia Briggs is the latest installment into the Mercy Thompson series. It would most definitely go under the Urban Fantasy genera.

For those of you not familiar with this series: Mercy is a coyote "walker" (even though in this book they talk about how that is not exactly the correct term because she is not evil - she is more of a shape shifter). Mercy was raised by a pack of werewolves in Montana, but has moved down to the Tri Cities area of Washington state, where she makes a living as a mechanic. She is a magnet for trouble from everything possible it seems, and has found a new family in the local werewolf pack.

I personally love this whole series. They are all really fun reads. This particular book is set on the Columbia River. She and Adam are camping and they of course run into a monster that is killing people, and they have to figure out how to kill it.

I'm not going to say that one needs to be some sort genius to read this book, but I love how she inserts all of the Native American legends into the story. You can tell that she did her homework, and she presents it in a way so that the reader does not have to.

I recommend this book to any one who likes a bit of adventure, and the paranormal. Briggs also happens to be pretty witty. I laughed out loud reading it a few times, and so did my friend Cate.

Our Winter Spring

The spring thaw started the other day here in my beloved town. I was wearing light sweaters and even busted out my chacos. Two days ago, when I decided to wear said chacos to work, it started snowing again - it has not stopped. I had gotten my hopes up so so high. The promise of spring and summer was placed before me and ripped away. Melowdramatic, I know this, but as one of the few in this town that pray for the snow to stop even before the ski slopes close I feel a little justified. Once the slopes do close down ofcourse, the rest of town will be onboard. But for now, I am in the minority.

Life here seems to have slowed down. In anticipation for the much needed summer I am still reluctantly staying mostly inside. Spending more of my time at the gym to get in shape for all of the hiking my friends and I are planning on doing. I think with all the time that I think about summer and the things I will be doing I may be setting myself up for an anticlimactic start. That's okay though. Whatever gets me through.

Fablehaven Book Review

I recently finished reading the first book in the "Fablehaven" book series by Brandon Mull. I have to say that really did like it. It kind of reminds me of the kind of book that the Harry Potter series is. Not the story, because they are very different. It is more that this is the kind of book that can get an entire generation reading actual books. It is original and "fun for the hole family".

The book is about Seth and Kendra (brother and sister) who have to go stay with their Grandpa Sorenson while their parents go on a cruise. Neither of them really want to stay, but as usual the children have no choice in the matter.
Through a series of events, they discover that the attic is not so bad for a room, that the housekeeper has more to her, that their pet chicken can do something other lay eggs.

Most of Greek mythology seems to be represented in this book, meeting fairies and naiads and centaurs. They learn that the land Grandpa Sorenson is in charge of is actually a protected habitat for these dwindling creatures.

Through out the entire book there are morals and lessons being learned. Mull does a good job of showing both immediate and eventual consequences. I also particularly liked how Kendra learns to be brave instead of having a character that it comes naturally to.

It really is a good read all around. Remember the age it is directed to though. I give it an A+ and recommend it to anyone, exspecially if you have kids.

It's COOKIE TIME!!!

In the turn of events that has brought me to Jackson has also managed to remind me that it is almost impossible to get a box of Girl Scout Cookies here. I keep an eye on the grocery stores and street corners where one can normally find said contraband- nothing. So what do I do? I wait patiently for my lovely mother to send me a package with a couple boxes inside.

Now imagine my surprise when I go to work and and find that everyone is coming in with boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Where did they get all the cookies? I asked my self, and them. THEY GOT THEM AT THE BAR! Yes, apparently the only place to get these beloved cookies is from a bar.

It makes sense in a way. This is a town where very few of us do not frequent the bars. It's probably the one place that the you can actually get to the majority of people here. Beyond the good business sense though it is a rather annoying arrangement for me. Only because I am one of the people who never goes to the bar of course.

So, until I can come up with a better idea... I will go on importing my cookies.

"The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry" Review

Well, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I had originally bought the book at a random book reading that Kathleen Flinn did in a book store in Seattle that I happened to be at when she was there. I had never heard of her, and certainly never heard of her book. I remeber thinknig at the time that She was really cool and I wished that I could do something similar in my life someday. I honestly do not even really like cooking, but I am a sucker for good titles. Plus she had read enough at the reading event that I was intrigued by her story so I bought a copy - I even stood in line and had her sign it.

Almost two years later now, and I am on the hunt for my next book to read. You wonder why it has taken me two years to read said book? Well, I have one addictive habit in my life and that is buying freaking books. I buy them in stacks of ten (sometimes multiple times in the same month) so it takes me a minute or two to get to some of them.

Anyway, I am perusing through my own library of unread books and I see this one. "The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry", by Kathleen Flinn and I remember my random night at Third Place Books and thinking to myself that she had guts. Now I know at this point you are wondering why I am telling you these things, but it will become clear. You see I had never read the inscription she had written in the book when I had her sign it, or if I had I did not remember it. When I read it this time though- it hit a cord. "To Tami, Remember life is not a dress rehearsal - Bests, Kat" Really it is just the time in my life and the things that I am doing and deciding to do at this time (hopefully with in the year) and I realize that she writes that in probably all of the books that she signs, but to me it means something, and to me it made her book worth reading.

Now, I had read "Eat, Pray, Love" and watched "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "Julie and Julia" - this book is way better. I had to tell myself that I could only read it for such and such amount of time because unfortunately I chose a particularly busy time in my life to read it. I liked how she laughs at herself but shows you the courage that it took her to go and change her entire life to do this one thing with out saying "hey look at this really brave thing that I did". It's funny, and great writing. She definitely focuses on the education that she had in Paris and just glazes over her personal life, but that is one of the things that I loved about it. She has a major personal event happen two thirds of the way through that she sums up in a paragraph.

Mostly, this book is about a journey. Her own journey and life's journey in general. She is an American Woman working in the corporate world in London when she comes home from vacation to find that she has been let go. Instead of heading back to the states to get another job immediately she moves to Paris with her boyfriend and attends the Le Cordon Bleu cooking school. She hones her skills as a chef, and as a person. I found it to be inspiring, funny, well written, and above all open-ended. As I stayed up late to finish the thing I closed the back cover with the filling of "this is a little snippet of my journey here that you just read. I am not done. I hope that you are making the most of your journey as well." coming from the book. What can I say, I love books that make me want to do something more with my life. I like to be left thinking. Whether it be thinking about a life philosophy or the endless possibilities that I have before me - To make a stranger think is an accomplishment in itself I would say.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes nonfiction life stories. She has a good one.

My Brain

Riddle me this.... Why is it that for the past week everytime that I walk into work and stand at the front desk of the hotel that I work at (at the front desk) do I almost immediately get a raging head ache?

It has only been happening for the past week and a half and no one else seems to have this problem - Just me. Aren't I just special?

So, I am now reduced to popping pain pills every few hours. I past time that I really hate. Sometimes, I have to say, I really hate my brain.

Jody Williams: A realistic vision for world peace | Video on TED.com

Jody Williams: A realistic vision for world peace | Video on TED.com

This makes me want to just get out there and DO something.

The fourth awakening book review

So, last night was the night that my book club met and we talked about the book "The Fourth Awakening" By: Rod Peenington and Jeffery A. Martin.



It was an interesting read. Basically, the book is about the power of thought. It's about a reporter who was great in her own day but took time off to be a Mom and is now trying to get back into it. An old friend of hers calls her about interviewing an inmate at the local military prison that most of the media outlets have agreed to not publish anything about.



The inmate is a scientist who is giving the government a bunch of trouble with his research and they want to take it over and classify everything, while the scientist would like to tell everyone.



It was not a book that I just could not put down, but it was still a good read. It was one that I did not want to move on to another book until I have finished with that one. They were defintily lacking in some of their descriptions, but since both authors are actual scientists I can overlook that.



The best thing about the book really was not the story in itself. Most of my book club agreed with me when I told them that after I was done with the book I couldn't stop thinking about how I could now tottally do things with my mind. The power of positive and negative thought really is pretty great. Rose (in my club) pointed out that it is sometimes so hard to really get excited and carried away with positive emotions, and then also so easy to get angry about something.



If nothing else this is a good book to make one think. Not only about themselves, but also about society as a whole. It makes you want to do research on the side just to see if they are right. How far does the fiction go? There is a small history lesson, but it leaves you wanting more.



I would recomend this book to anyone who likes books about conspiracy theories, new age thinking particularly about reaching an enlightened state, or action books.

Productive Productivity

I am not a busy person. I never have been. I spend my days getting things done, but I really do have a habit of always waiting to do things until I absolutely have to do them. I have "to do" lists that do not get finished for a month. I have a ton of goals that rarely get acknowledged past the initial making of the goal.

Yesterday though, I had a productive day. I woke up and immediately got in the shower to start my day. I vacuumed my living room floor while I watched the history channel during commercials and ate my breakfast during the show. Then I did things like ACTUALLY clean my room. And I called my bank finally about a problem that came up like two weeks ago. I wrote in a traveling story that my friends and I have going between us that I have to pass on Sunday morning. I cleaned off my desk. I read like 60 pages in my current book. I called my mother and she is now sending me my old keyboard so that I can start to learn to play the piano.

I realize that all of these things just seem like they are a list of things that I have done in the day and in and of themselves is really quite boring. To me though, they show me a day when not only did I do all the things that I normally do, like read and watch TV first thing in the morning, but I was able to kick off a good chunk of my monthly "to do " list. I for a short day was able to say to my friends, who all have busy lives in the big wide world, that I did all of these things. It was an accomplishment for me. I know that it seems like I am bragging about nothing. I think though that it is the little things like this that make up some of the best days of my life.

Books ..... and thier reviews

Well, as an avid reader I always find myself going through books at breakneck speed and then never thinking about them again. I just love getting as many stories as I can as fast as I can. I only recently started up my own book club, but admittedly the books chosen for that do not take up very much of my time so I am still reading about five books on top of my book club assignment. I am to the point that I actually put a sticky note on the title page saying "read"

after I am done with them.

So, what do I do to help make my reading more memorable? I make a list on this blog (a blog that no one actually reads) of the books that I have read this year. I start a new one every year. I didn't even think twice about deleting 2010's list.

In an effort to make things last a little longer in my head I have decided that on top of the list I will do a review for every book I read. It might not be long... or good for that matter, but if anyone takes a look they will have some ideas about some good books to read.

But I have a little catching up to do so this first one will be a mass one with all of the books on here except for "The fourth awakening" because that is my book club book for January and I would like to hold off on that review until we have our meeting so that I can put some of their points of view on as well.

SO.. for the month of January:
"FOOL MOON" By: Jim Butcher
This is actually the

second book in a long line of books in

Butcher's Dresden Files series. I really do like him and his style of writing a lot. The Dresden Files are about a wizard living in modern Chicago. He makes a living from being a professional wizard. Basically, it's a fun twist on the classic PI story. He doesn't get many takers though so he makes most of his money consulting for the Chicago PD in the weird crimes unit (that is not the official name but I am being too lazy to actually get up and look up the name in the book). He also has a plucky side kick whose name is Bob. he is a ghost who is trapped in a skull for doing something very bad. I don't remember exactly what it was, or even if he tells you... but it was bad. Fortunately though, he helps Harry with his spells and such. I also like him because he

seems to be a seasoned heckler. A past time that I have always found to be very entertaining. Harry also works closely with a police detective. I think her name is Kate something. She is awesome and bad ass. Mostly she believes in magic and everything it can do, but she is very annoyed with Harry for the majority of the book (and the first book) because she knows he holds back stuff about the supernatural world.

In this second book of the series harry is up against werewolves. Apparently there are different kinds, a fact which I find just handy and makes for a good story. There are lots of action scenes where Harry is barely making it out alive. Cool magic abounds, and he seems to pick up quite a few friends along the way. The mob is a central part of this book. Which I suppose is appropriate according to main stream pop culture surrounding crime in Chicago.

It's a fun read. Not really a thinking book, and I got through it pretty fast. It's most likely

categorized as an urban fantasy. The Syfy channel made a brief series based on the books.

Unfortunately, it didn't take and only lasted one season. The only reason I know about it is because I stumbled on it wandering around netflix one night.

I do recommend this book to any one out there though. I wish I could say "If you like such and such book or type of book then you will like this one" but since I like and read basically everything I can't really do that unless I know you personally.

"Wicked Lovely" By: Melissa Marr

This is definitely a book aimed at high school girls. Which is not surprising as I got it from the teen section at the book store.

Wicked Lovely is the first in a series of books about faeries in the modern world and all around us. Aislinn is the main character and she is a junior in high school. She can see the faeries, but most mortals are not supposed to be able to. Her grand mother can as well and apparently her dead mother was able to as well. She as to hide it though ans ignore them because they will try to kill her if they know that she can see them. faeries can't stand iron though so she is dating a guy named Seth who happens to live in a couple abandoned train cars. Convenient no? Trouble comes when the Summer King faerie decides that he needs Aislinn to marry him.

There is an internal power struggle going on between the Summer King and his mother the Winter Queen. It's all very Shakespeare really. Their deal has been going on for thousands of years and I am personally torn between calling it petty or cruel. Turns out that winter faeries are just mean.

I would give this book a 7 out of 10 rating. At the same time though I think that the chosen demographic would really enjoy it. What can I say? Sometimes I can find kids and teen

books that I really enjoy... ex: Harry Potter series and the Narnia Chronicles.

(And just in case anyone does read this and is interested... YES, I did read Twilite...NO, I did not really like Twilite, No, I will not review them on here.. ever, and No, I don't even watch the movies. I feel there should be a little more substance to a story line. I respect the first book and the originality of it, but the rest you could tell tha

t she had a contact to fulfill with her publisher.)

"Medusa" By: Clive Cussler

Let me tell you up front.. I LOVE CLIVE CUSSLER. He is definitely one of my favorite authors. One CAN NOT go wrong with ANY book by Clive Cussler. He has a few series' out. There are the Dirk Pitt adventures that got me hooked on his books in the first place, the Oregon files - which are just as awesome, and then there are the NUMA files which star Kurt Austin. Any and all of them are awesome and worth buying and reading over and over again. I own quite a few myself.

Medusa is a Kurt Austin adventure. It starts off with a possible global pandemic in China. The government is containing it, but they are trying to find a cure as soon as possible. Austin comes into the mix when Dr. Kane the scientist heading the group that is the closest to finding said cure comes with him on a historic dive recreating the historic expidition by WIlliam Beebe and someone named Barton (or maybe Barton just helped him design it). As far I can tell without doing any further research beyond reading this book the dive was done in a big bubble of a submersible called a bathysphere. They get attacked (although I won't tell you how, because it's awesome and I don't want to ruin it for you), and Austin has to save Dr. Kane and Kurt's best friend and plucky sidekick Joe from the depths.

I will not ruin it for you, but I will say there is plenty of adventure, and sarcasm, and impossible feats that could have only been pulled off in the imagination.

I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE AN EVERYONE.. but that's just me :)


The last two books kind of go hand in hand so I think I will do a joint review of them.

"Masques" and "Wolfsbane" By: Patricia Briggs
This little duo starts off in Masques. Aralorn is a shape-shifting spy who finds a wolf who turns out to be a Mage and tends to follow her around. They have to basically save the world from the evil head Mage. Aralorn is a green mage and only half human. She can do magic, but only by pulling the natural energy and magic from the earth. Together the end up accumulating a slightly large group of people that are running from the ae'Magi (head mage) which includes a King who is immune to all magic.

I really like this first book and would recommend it to anyone who likes fantasy books. I pretty much never wanted to put it down.

The second book of the set is Wolfsbane. It is definitely not as good as the first book. We still have Aralorn and Wolf, but we meet Aralorn's family when she goes home for her father's funeral only to

find he is not really dead but under a spell. There is more about the shape-shifting and the relationship with her brothers which is fun. It was a cute book, and not bad, but I was not as addicted to it as I was to the first one.

I recommend these books for a fast, fun, easy read.



So those are the books in January.. Hope you love them!!!!

Trust and Dis-Trust... as it were

"To be trusted is an even greater compliment than being loved" - George MacDonald

The world that I live in is a small one with a very exclusive membership. I of course must interact with MANY people on a daily basis, but I am unfortunately one of those people that does not trust easily. One must earn my trust to get it, and that is not done easily. There have been a few exceptions to this long standing rule, but they are rare.

Last night however I had a conversation with a man that I have had maybe five interactions with. In the course of this talk I actually wanted to ask him questions. As much as I like to ignore this aspect of myself, I really am pretty disinterested in most of the population on the "outside world". I wanted to hear his opinions on the things we were discussing. I wanted to laugh at his jokes, and learn about him as a person. When he left my house I stood there with a feeling of trust and safety. I feel like that is not a common feeling for people to leave me with and it caught me off guard.

I stood there staring at the contents of my fridge trying to dispel the feeling. It was not possible that this random guy had maybe think to myself "he is someone that I can trust completely".

Now before all of you start thinking that I am insane and paranoid with a crush, let me just tell you that that is just untrue. Well... I might be a little insane.

I am not tho only one who thinks this way though.

http://changingminds.org/explanations/trust/what_is_trust.htm

My paradigm has been challenged though. maybe I am coming up with all of these exceptions to my rule for a reason. I trust God so why would I not be able to trust my fellow man? Why is it that 99% of the people that I know and love have the exact opposite approach to the whole thing? They believe that trust is given freely only to be taken away when it is breached.

I can not say that anywhere in the near future I will be able to do that, but I suppose that it is a step in the right direction that I am thinking about it.